Me.
I have woken up with fever every day for 4 days. The fever goes away by midday but returns again the next along with all the pain and discomfort of my illness.
No,I am not pregnant!
I have an appointment tomorrow but I have an appt today in prayer,asking God to strengthen me.
I have been asking God to heal me for quite sometime and I know there is a reason for this disease in my life, just as there is a reason for all things.
I came to this realization/acceptance, a few years back, I know God can heal BUT I may not be healed.
Wow, Pastora, you have no faith!
I have faith that can move mountains and God according to His will has answered and granted me in many things I have prayed for in faith.
He has sustained me when the doctors said I had a year to live. He has seen me through over 15 times under anesthesia in surgery and in biopsies. He is great!
I know I am not the only one in this boat, there are many Christians in this world and in our own church who have asked God for healing and still bear their illnesses. Does this mean they are in sin?
Does this mean they have no faith?
Does this mean they do not pray?
Does this mean that God has forgotten about them?
NO,NO,NO,NO!!!!!!!!!
And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
God is a great God! He has the power to heal. He has the power to resurrect but healing isn't always in His plan. Paul suffered a thorn on his side his entire life and yet never lost his trust in God and Paul's faith was never questioned.
BUT God SUSTAINED him. God sustains me and others who have lived everyday of their lives in pain awaiting healing but trusting God to fulfill His plan in their lives.
I was born with this illness and it came to full manifestation when I was 12. I have not been healthy since but my faith in God grows stronger every day because I am still alive! He gives me strength for parts of my illness others would not be able to take on. But we all know that God does not give us more than we can handle and if this illness is what is keeping me dependent on the Lord, than I embrace it and hold it dear to me.
When I wake up 2 or 3 times a night because I am choking in my sleep, it is because HE wakes me up.
When I undergo biopsy after biopsy (every 6 months) and come out clean as a whistle it is because He has extended my life.
When I have difficulty swallowing and have to pray that the food goes down before I asphyxiate, it is God who helps it go down.
When I am so tired because I haven't slept and I haven't eaten it is God who gives me the strength to do the everyday things.
Recently it has worsened, but my faith in God improves. I am having a hard time remembering things or my speech is slurred. I have started losing many of my teeth and have lost some weight (that's a plus for now.)I am slower to react/process because of the fatigue. But when God needs me to be sharp I'm all over it . To God be the glory!!!! I know God has a purpose.
Just before arriving to Emmanuel I had recovered from a very diffcult slump/crash in my health. I had another Heller Myotomy, my second one. It is a an operation where the doctor removes a portion from the bottom of the esophogus and wraps it around the tube on top of the stomach. The surgeon must go through the chest to do this, needless to say I have more stitches on my body than Frankenstein. Along with the myotomy I had a growth removed and was in cardio /thoracic intensive care for 2 weeks, only to return within 2 days with pneumonia and a lung infection.
God is glorious and merciful!!!! I knew it was my time to go. I felt God preparing for death but I prayed that he would let me do some things. The first on my list was to let me work for Him. I felt I didn't do enough for God for all He has done for me and that is the saddest thing for a child of God to feel.
He granted me life.
He sustains me. He gives me strength. I am rarely 100% but God is always with me and He gives me strength. pray for God to continue to give me strength and to do His will in my life and the lives of others in our church and around the world who are going through the same thing.
God is great!!!!!